My Wishes for 2019

Late night writer’s diary.

I am no stranger to bullying and criticism. I get sick just thinking about the boys and girls at Oak Middle School who used to torment me on a daily basis. Fast forward to the present, I have noticed the insane comments from people on my social media posts simply saying mean things. It’s hard to not get those flashbacks that I experienced from when I was a preteen when I read these comments.

I now consider myself someone who has pretty thick skin. Humiliation, embarrassment, and loss of self esteem was the cost I paid. It’s still surprising to me how much people lash out at others in their own weakness and insecurity. Personally, I have never felt that it was a healthy outlet to release my emotions in this manner. It’s crazy to me that these people have the intention is to MAKE someone feel bad about themselves. Their intention is to purposely ruin someone’s day. And that has never been me.

Life can be unfair sometimes. This is nothing new. My parents have never raised me with the mindset that the world is filled with sunshine and rainbows. Regardless, people will do it--and will continue to do it until the end of time. That’s when I learned at a young age to change my mindset. Keeping a positive mind is what has gotten me through a lot when I have felt I was in a dark place. It thoroughly transformed my life. Though I still have these burning questions. I wonder and want to ask these people, "What do you gain from it? Do you become smarter? Does it enhance your appearance? Does the dollar amount in your bank account grow? Do you actually feel good about it?"

And this is why I feel so compelled to share my late night thoughts with you, friends. People try to make you into a mold they want you to be so that they can hate you. And they envy the way other people love you. They project their insecurities onto you. That’s all it is. The world is an ugly place at times, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be beautiful. My personal belief is we have a duty to humanity to spread love and kindness. There is already so much hate in the world. It is so easy for me to spread love and so difficult for me to spread hate.

My wish for each and every one of you, my friends, this year is that you start or continue to live out your dreams, wishes, and goals without the fear of what others will think or say to you. People will say stupid sh*t because you’re living lives their small minds have never even imagined.

Do not let people make you think that you are less than. EVER. You are who defines YOU. And once you attract that good energy, anyone who is meant to be in your life will be there. Those are YOUR people. Those who steal joy or criticize you are not your people. Please let them go.

If someone tries to make you out to be someone or something you’re not, tell ‘em: B*TCH, I AM NOT THE ONE.

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2019.

With all my love,
-Carmen